Thanksgiving is undoubtedly the least sexy holiday of the year for some—would you agree? The endless hours of preparation, digestive discomforts, colonization celebration (seriously, why?), family anxiety, and general lethargy from gorging our pie holes- the ONE day a year we come together to “give thanks”.
If you find yourself celebrating with friends or family, and inevitably someone insists on going around the table and stating what each of you are thankful for (real original, we know) try to swap out the eye roll (for a dinner roll?) *ahem*- for an honest example of gratitude!
A few examples: gratefulness for modern medicine, the right to vote, your treasure trove of sex toys!
Let your granny know you’re thankful for the closeness that pegging your partner brings to your relationship! Okay, okay, maybe some details can be spared, but let's talk about honest-to-goodness gratitude.
GRATITUDE
Practicing gratitude and rewiring our brains allows us to focus less on the negative and more on the positive! The implementation of which is scientifically proven to enhance aspects of our emotional, physical, and physiological lives. (Yes! This includes sexual!)
Focusing on things you are grateful for before bed increases pre-sleep calmness, resulting in an easier night’s sleep. What?! A natural way to tame the bedtime beasts of worry?! It’s surely worth a try! Keeping a journal on your nightstand makes for an easy bedtime ritual of jotting down your daily gratitude. Keep it simple to start- one or two things you’re thankful for. Continual practice will prove easier, and your lists will effortlessly grow longer.
Start your day with a positive affirmation or mantra. Science says repeating positive affirmations into the mirror is a sure fire way to strengthen your neural pathways, sparking changes to the parts of our brain responsible for happiness. A real Stuart Smalley approach to contentment!Another act of gratitude might be taping a love note-to-self on your mirror, leaving a billet-doux for your partner (just because), or expressing a genuine “thank you” to your neighborhood clerk. Acts of kindness and gratitude ought to be plentiful all year!
SELF APPRECIATION
Not all of us are partnered up, and that’s quite all right! There is so much societal pressure about finding a mate, and starting a nuclear family, and let’s be perfectly honest that is not everyone's cup of tea. That is perfectly “normal” and deserves its own celebration.
Being single doesn’t mean you are any less desirable- you are worthy of love and affection just as you are- right here, right now! Flaws and all!Whether you’re partnered up, looking for love, or enjoying the wild freedom of the single life, it’s important to practice self gratitude.
Cleansing face masks, pedicures, bubble baths, and vacations, are all acceptable forms of self-care, however, let us not forget the other ways of caring for ourselves!We are lucky to live in a time where sextoys (and the like) have been revolutionized. So many brands offer body-safe, rechargeable, non-porous toys. Lubes free of chemicals, parabens, phthalates, and so on. The age of treating a woman’s “hysteria” with a vibrator liken to an electric sander are long past, and now it’s as easy as a click of a mouse to deliver discreet packages to your doorstep. We finally have queer and feminist porn, casual talks of pegging appear on evening sitcoms, and OTC birth control is readily available and in most cases, accessible for many uterus-bearing folks.
Take some time to feel yourself, to FEEL yourself! Dive into a hole of self-sexual exploration and feel the empowerment of embracing your solo-intimate curiosities.MASTURBATION
Being present in our mind and body is the very foundation of creating a better world for ourselves. With all this talk of inflation, let us not forget masturbation is free! Rub. One. Out! Choke the Chicken (...er,turkey?), Give Yourself a Hand, Polish the Pearl, Make the Bald Man Cry! Humans have been self-pleasuring since the beginning of time- some even start in the womb!
It’s cold and flu season, and we are still (arguably?) in the midst of the pandemic. Studies show masturbation can help improve white blood cell count, thus benefiting the immune system. Plus, it’s bound to ease some tensions and release endorphins, all of which have been studied and confirmed as beneficial for our health.Orgasms strengthen our pelvic floor muscles, enhance sexual performance, and burn calories (perfect post-meal activity. It’s suggested to wait 30 minutes after eating to avoid drowning).
NON HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL
Societies have tried countless methods to prevent pregnancy, some dating back to 3000 BCE! Incredible!
Folks choose non-hormonal birth control (NHBC) for a plethora of reasons. Thankfully, nowadays, there are many forms of NHBC: non-penetrative sex, condoms, suppositories, fertility awareness based methods, withdrawal (pull and pray, baby! Well…- more on the pray, less on the baby?); copper IUDs (the only NH form of emergency contraceptive), tubal ligation, vasectomies, etc.Socially (read religiously), legally, and politically, the topic of birth control and abortion have long been taboo. Let us show gratitude for the lawmakers and politicians working to protect reproductive rights. (And for the love of all, VOTE!)
PARTNERED SEX / POLYAMORYIf you’re someone that is sexually active, how do you give and receive gratitude with your partner(s)? Understanding each other’s love language(s) is a great place to start.
Showing love and appreciation in, and out (and in and out, and in and out) of the bedroom is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. Strengthen sexual communications and bonds by discussing your kinks and fantasies. Have an aftercare routine, express what you enjoyed about your experience, partake in a post-coital cuddle. Consider wearing FitBits to compare heart rates, and justify skipping cardio at the gym.The physical and psychological benefits of lower heart attack risks, better cognitive function, memory, neuron growth, stress relief, are all plenty of reasons to get busy this holiday weekend (and any day, for that matter).
Show some thanks for S-E-X! After all, it’s where we all CAME from. (Pun intended).SAVE THE PLANET
Going vegan (or eating more plant-based), riding bikes, carpooling, conserving energy and water, Reduce-Reuse-Recycle-Rihanna, are all positive impacts to our global climate crisis.
Oscar Wilde said “Everything in moderation, including moderation.” While this is a lovely concept, and quite fitting in many aspects of life (more orgasms, more laughs, more dessert!), over-consumption runs rampant in modern society. It’s pertinent we start to make the switch to a more sustainable and eco-friendly lifestyle, individually and as a whole. Our planet literally depends on it.How can we make changes to our daily lives without sacrificing our quality of life? There are SO many brands offering eco-friendly solutions and alternatives to most anything you can think of. Whether it be a Tofurkey for your holiday spread, sustainable vegan condoms, biodegradable anything, or rechargeable sex toys, it’s each of our responsibilities to make conscious decisions when purchasing goods. With the pressure of Corporate Black Friday Deals around the corner, consider which eco-conscious small businesses to support instead! Caring is sexy!
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Are we going to solve all of our problems and save the world simply by giving thanks? Probably not overnight. Will it help reshape our thinking, and strengthen relationships with ourselves and others? It’s a (scientifically-proven) great place to start! After all, great sex starts in the head - not in the bed - so having a peaceful mind can lead to satisfying sex! Win-win!
Taking care of ourselves, each other, and the planet doesn’t need to be a chore. There are several fun and exciting ways we can opt for more eco-friendly and body safe products. Anything from what we eat, to what we put on and in our bodies.Cultivating gratitude every day of the year is a simple practice that we can easily incorporate into our lives. As we reimagine a better world, let us really remember that it is not only possible, it is in fact necessary. So, “What are you thankful for?”
Tell us by leaving a comment below!
With love,UNION